When a Muslim Mother loses a Child

As always I am awed when I meet women and mothers who have suffered themselves and then find it in the hearts and lives to want to change things to ease the suffering of others.  Here is just such a woman, who has lost two children herself but has yet found the strength and compassion to ease the suffering of others.  I commend her story and her work to my friends.  If you are in touch with women who may need the support of Rezvanna’s charity, then feel free to contact her.

Every blessing.

Rezvana says:

Children are regarded as one of the most precious gifts for every parent to hold, love and cherish. The loss of a child is no doubt the most difficult experience for any parent to face. The pain of child loss, however, is one that may never heal as I have learnt over the years.

I lost my son Hashim 8 years ago and Haider Ali just over a year ago. However parents like myself are looking for ways in which to learn to live again and face the reality of life. The feeling of strength, courage and patience is tested daily. During the time of heartache and soul searching, spiritual guidance can be the answer to many lingering questions as I have experienced.

At the time of my bereavement I was offered support by the health professionals and on a number of occasions. However I felt they did not cater for my faith beliefs therefore I declined. Sadly I did not know of any charity  out there that could cater for my beliefs. After 8 months of struggling to deal with my loss I was introduced to Children of Jannah, the only Islamic bereavment support in the UK helping to deal with child loss. Children of Jannah is a charity which aims to support parents to deal with their loss in the light of Islamic guidance. This closes a  gap in  service provision that will benefit many: as we create an environment for families to discuss their feelings and emotions.

Children of Jannah has a personal Facebook page for mothers and fathers separately where they can share their stories and experiences. It also delivers a telephone support line so that parents can speak to a trained volunteer confidentially.

The Imam of Bradford was pleased with the substantial support provided for parents by Children of Jannah, he said:

 “The Children of Jannah is a welcomed initiative that combines the offer of comfort and compassion through spiritual guidance at the time of bereavement. I would like to commend Children of Jannah charity and pray that Almighty Allah reward them for their efforts and good intentions.” Shaykh Muhammad Afzal Saeedi, President Minhaj-ul-Quran International UK

Another Imam said: “I want to congratulate Children of Jannah for producing this much needed information in a clear and accessible form. May Allah (God, the Most High) reward them for their endeavours.”    Imam Muhammad Asim MBE, Makkah Masjid, Leeds

Children of Jannah is the grief recovery charity that could help many other isolated parents deal with their grief. With their motivation and encouragement I have come to terms with my loss, and now I want to raise awareness so many other parents can receive this support. I am now the West Yorkshire Coordinator for the Children of Jannah charity and would like to talk with anyone who knows Muslim parents who may benefit, as I did, from this charity’s support.

Children of Jannah logo

Website: www.ChildrenofJannah.com  Email: westyorkshire@childrenofjannah.com       Mobile: 07870660035                 Charity no: 1145936

The chime of the anniversary bell

Why is it that when the hot summer weather comes and everything in the garden is in full and healthy spate, I begin to mourn. There is that heavy feeling. I don’t know what it is, for a while, and then I remember: it is 2 weeks away from the 4th August – again. The 4 th of August, the death day for all my lost babies. Why did I always lose them on the same day? the same time? What is it about this time of year? I don’t know.

What I do know is that as the seasons turns from winter to spring from spring to summer, each year I have a moment when I must turn and remember, remember my little lost loved ones, speak to their souls, and speak to mine too.

And I have to do it. My body compels me, even in my busy happy life, it compels me with gentle but firm tug, to turn aside, be still and remember. My friend tells me her African friends would say I need to visit my bush spirit. It is not to be morbid, not to drag up the past, but in a sense to ensure that it stays in the past. Acknowledged, remembered, and given its place, the losses of the past need not spoil the future or dominate the present. Except today of course, when the call comes.  It is to stay well that I need to pay attention when my body chimes the anniversary bell.

I reflect that it keeps me human too. Working on a strategic level, campaigning and lobbying, running a business, I can lose touch with Real Life, Real Things –  that is, where humanity touches humanity, where mother reaches to mother, woman to woman. These days, these special days when my bush spirit calls me to sit down with my dead loved ones, keep me human, keep me listening, keep me whole.